Plot: Actor Ashton Kutcher hosts; Them Crooked Vultures perform "Mind Eraser, No Chaser" and "New Fang. " Sketches include "On the Record w/ Greta Van Susteren," "Gertrude's Will," "The View," "Cialis for Threeways Commercial," "Roman Slave Boy," "Weekend Update" with guests Liam (a teenager who just woke up), Eliot Spitzer, Jean K